comfort food



This place has been more silent than talkie lately, am I right? 

2013 has been really rough so far, and more and more I find myself wanting to come back here, to my world of classic movies and old friends. I miss Silents and Talkies. I miss movies, for that matter. I keep yearning to watch them, feeling pangs in my chest and a pit in my stomach that won't go away until I finally sit myself down in front of some black and white moving images. But I never seem to find the time and those pains just stay there, a constant aching reminder that I'm starving for the comfort food of classic film.

In February, my beloved cat Hypatia passed away. I've been having a really hard time moving on. It's especially tough because she was my everything. As I've mentioned before, I don't really date and all of my friends are online. I feel so completely, utterly alone without her. Every time I think I'm getting a little better, something happens that puts me right back where I started. Yesterday I had to pick up one of my other cats at the vet. It was my first time back there since I said goodbye to Hypatia and it took all that I had to keep my composure. Part of me just kept thinking "maybe when they hand me the pet carrier, Hypatia will be inside and this will have all been a horrible nightmare." But that didn't happen. Other things have gone wrong this year too (another big one being the slow and steady decline of my etsy shop) but Hypatia's passing has been the primary reason for my heavy heart.

I think one of the reasons I miss --and need -- movies right now is that they can reflect the emotions you're feeling and act like a friend giving you a warm embrace, whispering in your ear, "I know how you feel." Not many movies deal with my particular brand of grief, but watching a film where an actor conveys the agony of losing a loved one or the feeling that their world is falling apart, it helps you heal in a way that nothing else can. It says that whatever you're feeling is human and you're not alone.

Of course then there is that other reason that movies help -- escape from reality. When I turn on Follow the Fleet, I'm no longer a sad wreck sitting alone in my empty bedroom, but an audience member at a shipyard show. Follow the Fleet is one of my go-to movies when I'm feeling blue. Despite failing to watch as many movies as I'd like to right now, I have at least watched this one quite a few times in the last two months. If Fred Astaire singing "Let's Face the Music and Dance" can't make you feel better, I'm not sure what can!

..

Every time I try to come back here I seem to lose my focus and let things go for a few weeks.. a few months.. a year. But I really want to stick around this time. I miss having an outlet for my thoughts and talking about the movies I love with lovely people. If you're an old friend who still has an active classic movie blog -- or if you just found my blog and have a classic movie blog -- please let me know in the comments so I can visit your site. xo

10 comments:

Jamil P. said...

I regret the death of your cat. Rest in peace

Sarah said...

It's really like an old friend you can come back to and you'll feel 1000% better. I am all for the S&T revival!! I've been kind of slacking on movies lately too. I fully endorse this idea ;D

kate gabrielle said...

Jamil P - Thank you

Sarah - You're a film major how is this possible?? lol :)

Amanda M. said...

I also am very comforted by all of the Fred and Ginger movies (except the Vernon and Irene Castle one, it's so sad!). I do not have a classic movie blog per se, but I do write about them (and a few new movies too) about 1/3 of the time on my blog.
I'm sorry to hear about your cat.

Have a good day!

faith o'brien said...

so sorry to hear of your loss.
please keep going with the blog. you really understand the kinship that one gets from old movies. and never forget...anyone who knows Ruthelma Stevens is pretty darn cool!

mima said...

Yay, you are back.
I'm really sorry about how crappy year you had so far. Hope you will be much happier soon.

alan said...

The loss of a beloved pet can be one of the most traumatic and deepest ones we face; I'm glad you have a bit of comfort to retreat to. For myself, it's movies, music and books. A bit of Chaplin, or "To Have and Have Not", sometimes "Casablanca"...sometimes much further back.

Thinking of you!

alan

Millie said...

KATE THE GREAT! So happy to see you blogging here again! :-)

Your movie posts are seriously brilliant!

amz said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your cat! I know I would be devastated as well if either of mine passed. Happy, healing thoughts to you.

I've been reading your blog for a little while, but I haven't commented yet. My own blog has a lot about classic films (and some other stuff too). It's http://leblogdamz.blogspot.com/.

becca_boo said...

Hi, Kate! It's good to see you back here!

I haven't been reading blogs much this past year, so I missed the news about Hypatia. I'm so sorry, and I totally understand - there are some cats that I will always miss.

Take good care of yourself and just remember, we love you, and we're always glad to see you on any of your blogs!